I’m a firm believer in the power of newness. While I also believe that I am the sum of my experiences and that everything happens for a reason, I believe in the self-invention and a fresh, clean slate is the most inspiring thing I could possibly imagine. This is why I start each year with Resolutions.
Most people laugh when asked about New Year’s Resolutions. They’ll say things like, “I’m going to lose weight,” or “I’m going to go the gym,” or “I’m going to start cooking more,” each and every year. “New Year’s Resolutions are silly,” I’ve been told. “They never stick.” January 1st of 2010, I resolved to start a blog. January 1st of 2011, I resolved to become a vegan after about fifteen years of vegetarianism. January 1st of 2012, I resolved not to let my illnesses and weaknesses define me. I have followed through and stuck with each and every one of these resolutions, and this is only a small handful of the resolutions I’ve made over the years.
For a large part of 2012 I felt stagnant. I was stuck in one place, going no where that I could see, and while my life was moving around me I felt too bogged-down mentally to move with it. Worse yet I sometimes felt as if I was regressing, moving backwards to places I’ve all ready been and struggled to remove myself from. I was fighting battles I’ve all ready fought. Some of these battles have been victories, others are in stalemate, but I refuse to lose any of them. Perhaps that is why the “newness” of 2013 has felt so important in the weeks leading up to the New Year. In the last months of 2012, I wove myself something of a cocoon, tucking in to examine myself and calculate the vastness of the changes taking place. I’m ready for the next phase, not something completely different but the next cycle of who I am and how I live. An evolved and higher state of me.
Some of these changes will be superficial: I plan to pare down in 2013, streamlining my style and cultivating signatures. This obviously applies to my wardrobe, but to other areas of my life as well. I’ve been talking about working out a concrete budget, balancing my accounts by hand to avoid the trap of digital overspending. By focussing my attention on developing signatures, I’ll save money on impulse buys and failed experiments and be able to apply those funds to things I genuinely need or want to work towards.
Other changes will be invisible, running too deep to really see at a glance. These will be the changes that allow me to be the person that I really am, the person I see inside and want to share with everyone else. These are the changes that involve being more courageous, accepting and actually feeling my emotions even when they aren’t 100% rational, reducing my anxiety and developing healthy coping mechanisms. While they may not be evident to anyone but the people I interact closely with, these are the changes that will take the most work and have the biggest effect on my life.
Up until this point, Readers, I’ve kept you all at arm’s length under the guise of professionalism. Having labels and tags to strictly adhere to felt more proper, so if it wasn’t about lipstick or shoes I really had nothing to say here. But I have a lot to say. I’d like to let you in on other things that interest me, the things I do that might not involve powder brushes or outfit snaps. So here’s what I’ve decided: Metamorphosis was begun to document my self-discovery and transformation and I feel like that’s very relevant again. From here on, Metamorphosis will be something of a landing-pad for me. Every post I make will appear here, on this site. If you’d prefer to simply follow my beauty and fashion posts, I’ll be cross-posting them and only them on Bella Cantarella. If you simply want updates on my artistic endeavors, I’ll be cross posting them (hopefully with more frequency) over at Crypt Orchids. I’d like to update this page at least twice a week, and the topics I cover will dictate the posting schedule everywhere else.
I want to thank you all for bearing with me for the last few years. It’s been a thrilling, maddening, hair-pulling, utterly inspiring journey so far and I hope you’ll stay with me as it continues.